Others saw him as cold.
An observation Second Young Master Lan had never refuted.
The iciness he had accepted…
Be it appearance or within, his warmth could not be mustered. Untouchable, no different than the Bitter Frost, but unlike the Undead Immortal Cultivator, Song Lan, HanGuang Jun’s detachment was ingrained.
The flame extinguished long ago,
When the child stood in the midst of snow.
Believing others had lied...
The stubborn youth kept vigil for the smile from the other side.
Awaiting…The wishful child yearned to hear the teasing voice that brought him joy,
Which had delighted his heart since he was a boy.
Still...No matter how long he persisted,
That person no longer existed.
The child’s solid heart stayed,
Since the days of the fallen frost.
Until...A trespasser dared to block his blade,
Unbeknownst, their stars had crossed.
Intrigued at first glance,
For however long, he did not know…
Or did not wish to know,
Lan Wangji, the Jade of Gusu, knew he was entranced.
No, it was none of these.
Yet, Second Young Master Lan could not decipher what was he.
Under the moonlit sky, Wei Wuxian’s devilish side shone in his twinkling eyes, which taunted...teased…
So brightly they were lit, outshining even the celestial orb above. That moment was the period of Chang’e, the Mythical Moon Goddess, who would have fully shined. But her beauty, the magic bestowed by mortal’s love, transcending even time...desisted.
All due to the two swordsmen under her sky.
Unyielding, their swords continued to clash in her presence. The youths of that time fought, though fiercely their swords collided, the winner to this day remains undecided.
However, tonight, as though she knew this moment would come, the shy Goddess above covered her sky. The development was past due, although the battle was of a different nature in the present.
Beneath was the man who clung for dear life. Eager lips and desperate bites...Engulfed one’s senses when their basic needs slipped them further down its path. Their lips joined after a long while, each seeking the pace without running out of breath. Unschooled in such an intimate act, neither knew what they were doing, short or long, the length they did not know, a rhythm was soon established.
More potent than a drug, more intoxicating than Emperor’s smile or even the strongest wine. Foreign these feelings may be, but with them came the waves of ecstasy.
If this was a dream, Lan Wangji would dare not wake.
Countless days, be it day or night; those fantasies were all the same -- a yearning for which had brought him shame. Ravenous to be accurate. Was it wrong to want a taste? Other than the bland flavor of life, Second Young Master Lan had waited...starved.
Unabashed, Wei Wuxian continued to beg for his touches and moaned for his kisses. But not to heal or to soothe, but eliciting acts of carnal sin.
Suddenly, Lan Wangji gasped, eyes momentarily opened, when he felt the other’s tongue seeking his. Surprised, but not defeated, his eyes closed and countered the attack. Swirled, swept from the current, his body drowned.
Without darkness, how could the moon shine? The yin to his yang, the cabbage, and his swine.
For years Lan Wangji had held back, because he didn’t dare.
Dared not tarnish, dared not stain. Unquenched, the decades-old hunger remains. A fasting like no other. Not once had Lan Wangji ever had the chance to savor to his heart's content. The hands that held, the body that shielded, but each and every time, releasing Wei Ying, Lan Zhan knew he must.
He had to let go, or he would not be able to resist the only warmth that could melt his heart.
Observant, concise -- HanGuang Jun’s steps to his demure nature, nothing would have been out of place. Controlled, overly suppressed, to say the least, the Jade that should be made of stone...who would have thought, it could melt?
Abruptly as it was, the day had come for the wall to crumble. The indestructible shield, layered by ice and steel -- dissolved by Wei Ying’s eager touch. Stripped from his outer garments, by none other than the impatient man beneath. Hurried hands pulled at his clothes, their kiss never broken. The many layers of thick and thin, exposing the porcelain skin, pure as snow itself. A stark contrast to the golden skin, a body once bathed under the sun among lotus blossoms bloomed.
Though tempted and enticed, something still didn’t seem right. Breaking from their kiss, Lan Wangji stopped the hurried hands pulling at the rest of the layers. “Wei Ying, wait!” he gasped, drawing strength he didn’t know he had.
But those relentless hands still ventured inside Lan Wangji’s clothes because no one could tell Wei Wuxian to wait or not. If anyone could have stopped him from doing what he wanted, he wouldn’t be Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji caught those resisting wrists and forced them beside his head, restraining the man beneath him in place.
“HanGuang, what’s wrong?” A familiar pout spread, followed by Wei Wuxian’s accusing tone. “Why are you being a bully? Let me go.”
“Wei Ying...” squeezing his eyes closed, he prayed his rationale would return as he spoke unsteadily, “We-we should stop.”
“Why?” he furrowed, like a confused untried child. For a split second Lan Wangji had a thought that Wei Ying could not comprehend the severity of their situation. Once crossed, they could not go back as they once were. But that idea dissolved when Wei Wuxian arched the lower half of his body, pressing shamelessly against Lan Wangji’s.
While one was naked, the other was no longer protected by his heavy layers. Only thin silk undergarments separated them. The action shot through him like an electric current. More powerful than a physical hit, which HanGuang Jun was immune to when it came to physical pain. However, this was a mixture of pain and pleasure, causing Lan Wangji to gasp. Eyes widening in shock.
The signs were present before, but there is no denying it now.
Wei Ying...Wei Ying...he...
Flush from head to toe, it took Lan Wangji all that he could muster, and he still almost failed. “Wei Ying, st-stop...don’t!”
The Devil, who looked more like a Fox Demon with his soaked appearance, did not heed. “But, I’m cold,” the cunning Fox exclaimed.
Obviously the statement was not true. Wei Wuxian’s body was burning hot, almost on fire.
Lan Wangji did not argue, instead, he replied, “I’ll-I’ll bring you your clothes.”
“My clothes are dirty.”
“Can’t you warm me?”
“Wei Ying, do you know what you’re asking of me?” Lan Wangij asked, which sounded more like a plea.
“Yes…” Wei Wuxian slightly nodded, eyes appeared lost, but his desire was evident. “Xian Xian wants Lan Er GeGe to keep me warm tonight.”
Why do they have to stop again? His mind roared, but his heart paused, far longer than needed to catch one’s breath. Was it because no affectionate words of confession were made? Or because Wei Ying was not acting like himself tonight?
Before Lan Wangji could further contemplate, or ask the sealed questions of his heart, the captive had already broken free from the hold that was neither firm nor hard. His mind may have wanted to secure Wei Ying in place, but his heart could never hold too tightly. May it be past or present, Lan Wangji could not bring himself to leave even a single mark on this fragile person.
Back then, HanGuang Jun was not able to stop those who were out to hurt Wei Ying, neither could he prevent words from reaching his ears. From physical to verbal abuse, Wei Wuxian had experienced the unimaginable. Still, the proud Rebel did not defend himself from these malicious attacks. In silence, he endured, because who would have defended him if he were to speak up?
Few dared to, and those who had were punished. Although HanGuang Jun had paid his dues, none could compare to the pain of isolation that wasn’t by choice.
Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji’s neck, inching him closer, but HanGuang Jun wasn’t a man so easily seduced. If he was, he would not be the person of today. Lan Wangji stopped his movements, but gazing back at him was the face that floored him.
Vulnerable, with a depth of pain behind those eyes, what followed was more devastating. “HanGuang Jun, are you leaving me again?”
Disarmed by the question, Lan Wangji could only stare back, “...”
“You always leave me when I have wanted you to stay. Every time, you waited until I turned away. Drunk, asleep, or when I wasn’t paying close attention. One moment you were there, then suddenly you were gone…” Wei Wuxian turned his head slightly as if a hidden thought had registered. “Am I that intolerable to be around? Is that why you always leave?”
Lan Wangji opened his mouth, but no words formed. Regrets crossed his face, but Wei Ying must have seen something else. His eyes grew red despite his efforts.
“What did I do wrong? Why won’t you stay? Why does everyone have to leave me?” Wei Wuxian cried, as glistening tears threatened to fall. “Is it because I will only bring misfortune to others? The hateful being who everyone despises? The Wei Dog...Yiling Laozu? An Omen to those who dare to care? My parents, Jiang Sect, Wen clan…Shijie...everyone...”
Lan Wangji shook his head, “No...Wei Ying...It’s not….”
“I-I’m sorry. I really didn’t know….I shouldn’t have. It was my fault. I’m-I’m really sorry...I-I...” Wei Wuxian sobbed incoherently, unable to form the regretful words of past misdeeds.
His head was buried against Lan Wangji’s shoulders. The cries were torturous, painful, unbearable even to the one who held him. However, like the summer storm outside, it ceases as soon as it arrives. Followed by a sudden awareness, or was it awakening? Wei Wuxian’s body no longer shook. Barely a movement, his breath slowed, but not his beating heart.
No sound, no words. Rarely was this man ever silent. Even facing thousands of enemies, astoundingly Wei Wuxian had more words than them. The quietness from the man who made a ruckus on the first day at the doorstep of Gusu left an indescribable emptiness. Even if Wei Wuxian did not talk, his eyes still spoke, and so did his body --- moving, gesturing, and spinning any object in his hands. Sitting or lying still was impossible. While sleeping, Wei Wuxian spoke. A restless body even in slumber, Lan Wangji had observed.
Weak as Wei Wuxian was, it only took a slight shove for HanGuang Jun to rise, no longer covering the body beneath, still stark naked, but not as wet as before. Afraid Wei Ying would be cold, Lan Wangji quickly snatched his outer garments and wrapped them around the man who was now avoiding his gaze.
Patiently, Lan Wangji waited…and waited, because he was afraid that if he were to act too early, this delicate person would shatter.
Finally, a detached tone rose, “Thank you, HanGuang Jun. I was out of place tonight, for that I apologize.”
The air chilled, a voice eerily similar to that day at the supervisory station, when Wei Wuxian returned for revenge. The first time he met Yiling Laozu, was also the day their line was drawn. The moment Wei Wuxian stepped away upon his approach. And now Wei Wuxian did so again.
Instinctively, Lan Wangji reached for him, but Wei Ying scurried back. Shaking his head, he lowered his gaze.
With his hand hanging in midair, Lan Wangji was still contemplating if he even had the right to touch him, when Wei Wuxian said, “HanGuang Jun, please forget what happened tonight. It was the wine talking, I could barely understand what I was saying. I didn’t mean to d-dirty…” his words faltered, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes spread. “But you don’t have to worry, no one will know about this. I will never speak a word of it. I’ll be out of your life by tomorrow. You will never have to see my face again. I can even leave---”
In a flash, Lan Wangji did not hold back. He pounced with all his might. Toppling the other over, he seized those lips before more frightening words were spoken by the man who was planning to leave him for good.
He was wrong again.
Since the beginning, and now, he should never have left Wei Wuxian to his own devices. When would he learn that nothing good had come from Lan Wangji leaving him? He should’ve taken him back to Gusu, hidden him, kept him safe from the unforgiving world outside. Because of his continued hesitation and reservation, he had made Wei Ying suffer again and again.
Those departing declarations petrified him to the point of madness. Even with Wei Ying in his arms, returning his kisses, those fears did not dissipate.
How could he explain? Lan Wangji had waited for this day, had he not?
Clouded by yearning, flooded by desire, and the one below was willing. Like an arrow without warning, or a shooting star when one is not looking. This man never ceased to crash into his life when he least expected. But, if he wasn’t careful, Lan Wangji would be done before it began.
Sensing Wei Wuxian’s hesitance, their lips parted.
His breath still deep and heavy, with an uncertain expression, Wei Wuxian asked, “Lan Zhan, wh-what are you doing?”
“Didn’t you said you were cold?”
Wei Ying swallowed, his blush showing. “I did.”
HanGuang Jun lifted one hand to caress Wei Ying’s burning cheek. Without shame, he coaxed, “Are you still cold?”
The trapping words were set. Before, Lan Wangji would never dream of seducing his other half, but Wei Ying had left him no choice. If he continued to let Wei Ying push him away as he had before, he would live and die with regrets.
Unconsciously, We Wuxian licked his lips. Moistening them, the velvet rose color deepened, reminding him of the shiny red tanghulu candy. Lan Wangji wanted to recapture those alluring lips, but forced himself to wait for Wei Wuxian’s answer.
Cold or not, the result would be the same.
Lan Zhan’s eyes lifted.
“Lan Er Gege.”
His brow arched at the intimate name, delighting his heart all the same.
Swiftly, Lan Wangji lowered his head, lips to his ears. Voice tender, soft as a feather, he whispered, “Wei Ying…”
The name sounded more like a melody, causing Wei Wuxian to shake slightly, barely noticeable. Hesitantly, Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around his neck as Lan Wangji returned with a tight embrace of his own. He wasn’t sure for whose sake, but even if the sky were to fall, they would never break.
Despite the fact that Wei Wuxian’s ears were many shades of red, despite his burning body, a temperature far from the answer the other sought, he answered, “I’m still cold.”
Wei Wuxian did not know, but the man who held him had broke into a smile….
To be continue...
Author's Note: Finally, I got to post this chapter. It was delayed, but fortunately, I could create the chapter the way I wanted it to turn out. I want to write beautiful scenes for these two since there are many words left unspoken in the drama.
Thanks, everyone for your support!